Hey there, internet dwellers! I’m Kyle, your 33-year-old guide to the golden age of gaming, where polygons were chunky, and the only thing that lagged was my reaction time after a few too many “sodas” (Mario Kart DD anyone?).
When “multiplayer” meant cramming four sweaty dudes into a single room, I was the king of the shag carpet, controller in hand, ready to battle it out on my trusty N64. My weapon of choice? Donkey Kong 64, GoldenEye 007, and of course, the legendary Super Smash Bros. If you ever needed to find me, just follow the sound of “Smash Bros.” rage-quits and you’d see me getting schooled by my buddies Cole and Matt (sometimes Bryton… Never Scott!).
But let’s get one thing straight: I’m not just another basement-dwelling, Cheeto-fingered gamer. Nope, I’m out there lifting weights, chopping wood, doing construction work, eating Cheetos… And doing all sorts of “man-shit” that would make your average gamer’s controller hand cramp up in fear. Yet, here I am, diving back into the pixelated past, because who doesn’t love a bit of nostalgia, right?
I’ve spent countless hours perfecting the art of c-button corner maneuvering in 007, mastering the Ness double-jump (PK Thunder!), and yes, beating the masterpiece that is Toy Story 2: Buzz Lightyear to the Rescue from start to finish. I spent an unhealthy amount of time in Andy’s room (don’t make it weird!).
These games weren’t just games; they were my childhood and my social life rolled into one (I did other stuff too… But, that’s not what we’re talking about right now).
Now, I’m dusting off these classics not just for kicks but to share the joy, the frustration, and the occasional controller-throwing moment with you. Whether you’re here for the laughs, the memories, or just to watch a grown man struggle with ’90s game mechanics, you’re in for a treat.
So, grab your beanbag chair out of your big-boy-cry corner and join me on Twitch and YouTube where we’ll relive the glory days, one cartridge at a time.
-Kyle
